I take my relationships seriously, not my status: Karan Johar

Karan Johar has the warmest hug in the film industry. He opens his arms and envelopes you in his warmth and holds you for a few seconds. Nothing perfunctory about it. He also has the sharpest tongue. I have seen people running away from KJo at parties lest they are at the receiving end of his biting humour. Especially after two glasses of wine. But no one minds. He is what he is, and he is loved and hated in equal measures for that. He has more friends than enemies in the industry. You might think that is so because he is one of the most sought-after producers and directors, but you would be wrong. He makes the effort. He is a friend to even people he is not friends with. He reaches out to people when they need him, even before they can ask. I believe he gets that from his father, who remains one of the industry’s best loved persons. KJo is the guy who has everything — fame, success, wealth, friends... Yet, when I ask him how often he is happy, he says, “Very rarely.” Over coffee from Costa, we chat about everything from his plans for his production house Dharma to his thoughts on karma. Read on…
You are having more fun in your 40s than in your 30s, or so it seems. True?
The 30s were initially tough for me. I lost my dad when I was 32, so it took me five-six years to find my feet. I had this big dream that I had to make my company go beyond my own name. I wanted Dharma Productions to resonate as a brand and that was definitely happening, but not to the extent I wanted it to.
Was that always the plan? I thought you always just wanted to direct.
When I lost my dad the first thought was, ‘Maybe I should just direct for outside productions and shut our own production company.’ I didn’t know how to handle finance and funds. I had been so mollycoddled and sheltered by dad, who took care of everything. But I think we have the inherent resilience in us that we don’t credit ourselves enough for. I think my upbringing was strong enough. I still remember the moment, four days after dad passed away I was in my office and a man walked in and said, ‘I am your chartered accountant.’ We had not met and I realised how little I knew about the running of this office.
What made you change your mind about shutting shop?
(After a long pause) Let me tell you something… I haven’t said this to anyone before… It’s very strange that you brought it up but there was a gentleman whose name I won’t mention, who was a very dear friend of my father, a very very well-known man. This respected gentleman called me and said “Can I come and meet you?” He is senior, so I said I would go see him but he said, ‘l need to come.’ He came. He handed over a letter that my dad had left for me. He said “Karan, this is not emotional, this is practical and pragmatic.” It was an emotional letter but had all the details about what I needed to do in terms of monies, the account numbers, people I should trust, people I should not trust. People who I should let go of within the organisation, people who I should get in touch with, etc. That letter became my Bible and eventually Apoorva’s (Mehta, his childhood friend and CEO) Bible and we kind of lived by it for the next few years. That’s something that I didn’t even tell my mother because I knew she would read it and get completely emotional. After reading that letter, I realised that my father actually had a vision for this company and I decided that no matter what, I will fulfil his dream.
And you produced your first film...
Yes, with Kaal, which we had planned when my father was alive. I was all set to shelve it but I told Apoorva, ‘Let’s make it. Let’s learn from our mistakes, it’s a small film, let’s go with it.” We made many mistakes with the production of that film — not putting aside how bad the film was. Creatively, of course, it was a terrible film. But I went with it, only because I said, ‘Let me make my mistakes in this one and then the ambition grew. I wanted to make this company the production house of this country. Because the last line of dad’s letter got to me. It said: ‘I am sure you will make Dharma Productions and I am leaving it in the best hands ever’. And he ended it with ‘I love you more than you know.’ I still have that letter with me. It’s my only religion, the only religious text I have. It’s my Hanuman Chalisa, it’s my Bhagvad Gita, it’s my father’s blessing, it’s everything. That’s why I stand tall today. No matter what obstacle, he’s the only man I talk to.
You don’t talk to God?
There is no God I go to. I stopped everything after dad passed away. I don’t go to any temple anymore because six months before that, (when his dad was unwell) you are so weak and vulnerable that you listen to everyone and do everything from feeding cows to chanting mantras to  doing pujas, to visiting every temple, and meeting every possible spiritual consultant in the world. I did everything but nothing worked because the one who has to go, will go.
So what do you believe in?
I believe in this Universe, I believe in energy, and above all I believe in humanity, that is my religion. I am good to my loved ones, great to people who I work with. I am wonderful with the biggest love of my life — my mother  — and I feel I do the right and the fair thing and that’s my religion. I don’t oppose your faith. Please don’t impose yours on me either, that’s my principle. I found a great amount of resonance in PK. I was like ‘Well done’ because someone is saying it on a larger scale. I have no problem with people who do it but I don’t do it, puja-paat. Do you know I walked into my new house on April 9, I chose the date on my own. I believe in the astrology of signs. I believe that there is a right time for something. I consult a lady called Lizia for numerology. I asked her which date and time I should enter the house and we moved in that day. There was no puja. On the 18th, 2 States released and it was a big hit and that was my sign. It’s a great house, and it has a great vibe. I don’t need to do a havan or a puja to make myself happy in that home. Home is where your heart is and if your heart is pure and clean, there is no environment that will not be clean.
So are sort of an atheist?
I gave up religion a long time ago. But I am not an atheist. I am somewhere trying to find my feet. I don’t understand spirituality. I don’t know what these words like ‘energy’ and ‘karma’, that are being constantly thrown at us, mean. When people say I am a spiritual person, they don’t even know what they are talking about. I have nothing against all the human gurus that exist, but dude! Nobody can teach me how to live my life. I have a good mother. I mean, I am really sorry, I have no problem with your faith, but all this seems like a big sham to me.
So coming back to the question. Are you enjoying your 40s more?
I am not having more fun, I am a lot more liberated now than I was in my 30s. I was carrying the baggage of responsibility. Today, I am living up to the responsibility. When I turned 40, I threw the biggest party. I said: I ain’t getting married, so I will have something like a wedding party. I will have a red carpet and I am going to call the industry that I grew up in, and the industry that has given me so much love, so I threw this big bash. I wore a Tom Ford suit — my favourite designer — and I posed with my mother before that when I went inside and I felt like right out of the Great Gatsby on my head. I was really excited about my own 40th birthday. This is the closest that can be to a wedding reception, so I said to people, ‘Come and give me expensive presents, because I have spent so much money on so many people’s weddings and birthdays. (laughs) Half the money I spent on their weddings has gone into alimony. It’s such a waste, I have stopped giving wedding presents to people. I’ll see if they last otherwise why I should contribute to their alimony?
Any films of 2014 that you wish you had produced/directed?
None. Happy with what I saw. Like I loved, loved, loved Queen. Enjoyed PK thoroughly, big fan of Raju Hirani, loved so much of Haider. But no film that I felt like, I actually don’t get that feeling when I see other people’s films because when I see a great film invariably it’s a film that I can’t make that’s why I find it greater.
Why couldn’t you have produced PK?
Oh, I would have loved to produce, of course. I’ll do anything to have Rajkumar Hirani’s name in my repertoire, as a producer. I love him. I think he is possibly the country’s finest. But I am happy he did it for Vinod Chopra. His loyalty and allegiance to the production house is something I respect tremendously. Also, that’s the one thing I expect from the kids I have launched as directors.
Do you expect people –— actors and directors — who you launched to only work with you?
Sometimes I do, but I realise that expectation is something that I have grown to kind of, what do I say about expectations.. they only lead to disappointments, so I have learned not to expect anything from anyone.
You must have a contract that restricts them to doing their initial few projects with your production, right?
I have a three-film contract with the actors and directors, but if tomorrow somebody doesn’t want to, I’ll never stop them. I don’t have expectations from anyone. I gave that up. I service all my relationships, but I don’t expect that back. That to me is spirituality. I feel more spiritual because over the years I have mastered the art of expecting nothing from anyone because I think everyone is here for themselves and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s their life… Sometimes if they feel there is a better opportunity elsewhere they take it. Who will stand by me, who will not, time will tell. Right now, I am not cynical or cryptic, I am just a little more real about the level of loyalty in relationships. I am also a little wary. Though I try very hard to protect my emotions — because I realise eventually I am too sensitive, almost hyper sensitive, always fragile and I don’t want to be that because to be 42 years old and fragile is just not the way to be…
You are what you are…
Having said that, the flip side of me is that I am always there for people. I don’t think I am capable of letting down a human being and I say that with a lot of strength and a lot of assurance. The only thing I am adamant about is my character because I think I am capable of standing tall, I am capable of delivering on an emotional level, but I am not sure about people. I am not strategic about relationships. How do you strategise relationships and then those relationships will never last anyway if they are a result of strategy.
In recent years you have become friends with Aamir Khan...
Yes, Aamir is the last person I got close to and we had a chat and I told Aamir, ‘I picked up the vibe that you don’t like me.’ I feel in my life that’s rare because I am more or less liked. You can not know me but not liking me is an extreme reaction to have about me unless we have had a professional issue. If you don’t like my kind of cinema, I don’t have any problem with that. My thing is: If you don’t like my cinema I can’t hate you, its your opinion and you are a cinegoer and you have the right. I am a filmmaker and I don’t like a lot of my work, dude so it doesn’t matter what others think, I’ll pinpoint my own fault and tell you ‘isme yeh galat thi, isme woh galat hai.’ I remember Rensil (D’Silva) said to me, ‘Anurag is the right choice for dialogue but unfortunately you hate him.’ I was like, ‘I don’t hate him. He had a problem with me, I retaliated back in print. That’s it.’ I said, ‘If you think he is right, please call him.’ Anurag was shocked. He asked me, ‘You want to work with me?’ I said ‘Ya, I have no problem, you are great for the job.’ You don’t like my movies, you can’t really hate me, right? I loved Dev D, I absolutely loved Black Friday, I love Anurag’s work and then he grew to develop an equation with me down to directing me. Then he said, ‘I was wrong about you.’
Do most people get you wrong?
To be very honest, my projection is sometimes a result of my talk show. You know they think I am this fancy, high society, snooty person, I am none of those things. That’s the talk show. You bring on a certain sense of humour, a certain level of irreverence. Your character is not defined like that. At the end of the day there is lot more that I can offer. There’s a lot more to me than what is being projected on television. Like Karan Malhotra, director of Agneepath, when he came to meet me, he thought that I would reject him. Later on, when we got close he told me, ‘I thought you will reject me because I don’t wear nice clothes.’ And I was like, ‘What kind of a monster do you think I am? I am like not at all. Yes, you don’t dress very well, but that doesn’t mean anything.’
How did that rumour start?
I think it’s because of Nikhil Advani, when he first came to meet me, he was wearing a cotton kurta. I said, ‘You are making a commercial film, you can’t wear a kurta and come, this vibe has to go. You are making Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, and not some parallel cinema, so please wear a shirt. I don’t want my first AD to look like he has jhola company vibe.’
At the AIB roast, that you hosted recently there were many jokes on your orientation. Was that your way of coming out?
I am certainly not answering this question, with a validation. See, there is a lot of conjecture about my sexuality and I have no problems about what people conjecture. I will never speak about my personal life. Whether I am heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual or asexual is not something I choose to talk about. Twitter is full of nonsense about my orientation. I get all kinds of hate tweets, love tweets, blasphemous tweets, objectionable, and controversial tweets, and that is what the AIB roast was all about. Obviously, the tweets come from people’s impression and perception of me, I have no problem with that. I can take a joke on myself. I would never insult somebody else, but if somebody chooses to kind of make a joke,  I don’t think it is insulting. It’s the kind of level of humour that the show has. Would I do the same to somebody else? Perhaps not, but I can take it in my stride, I have no problem. I never ever blow up about it. There were so many funny things, so I will laugh, of course...
Anyone else in your position would not have allowed it. That you did is pretty cool. 
I take my relationships seriously, I don’t take my status seriously and that is something I say with conviction. I take my work very seriously. If somebody is insulting to me about my work, my film, I will be horrified. You can make jokes about it, but if someone seriously attacks my work or my achievements, I will not allow it. Someone attacks my family, I will not allow that. Somebody attacks a relationship of mine that is intense, attacks it viciously and vindictively, I will not stand for it. As for your perception of my orientation or my personality, go ahead and do it. I am a public figure, I am open to this kind of chatter.
What was your reaction when Ranveer Singh planted his lips on yours?
I was shocked because I wasn’t expecting it and I was like, ‘Oh My God and I was like did that just happen in front  of 4,000 people!’ Then I realised that Ranveer’s reputation precedes him.  So, I said to myself this is another mad thing he has done.  I had no problem, but I just wish he had warned me so I probably would not have been as shocked. But to his credit he had mentioned that he was going to kiss me, but I thought he was joking. I thought who is going to go through with it. Later I realised Ranveer Singh is mad enough to go through with it.
That’s true, but his madness is real. Not an act.
I think the word for him is unabashed and unapologetic, I’d like to one day meet Ranveer on a calm mode, I wonder how that Ranveer will be.
What was your mom’s reaction, who was sitting in the front row?
Silence. We haven’t discussed it. It’s like the day never happened. It came, it went, it did not conquer.
Do you regret hosting the show in hindsight?
No, I don’t live a life of regret. There is a thought behind everything I do.  Impulse is something that comes with my instinct so my instinct is my impulse. I don’t regret a single film I made, or a single relationship — even if it’s  broken.  Regret is not part of my dictionary. I don’t regret anything because you could go right and wrong. If you go back in time, would I do it differently? I don’t know. But today I don’t regret it. I have been told a lot of things, there is a flip side to that. Many people had advised me don’t do Koffee With Karan..
Aditya Chopra was one..
I don’t want to mention names, but there were a lot of people who said don’t do that or do this. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t, and it’s life and my instinct and I go with it. I am not somebody who is very opinion based. I don’t ask people for theirs.